Independence is often seen as a strength. In personal development, it is valued as the ultimate achievement: learning to be self-sufficient, not depending on others, being the master of one’s own life. But behind this quest for autonomy lies a deeper and unconscious dynamic: the attempt to prove that we can exist separately from God.
This desire for absolute independence, which we perceive as freedom, is actually an illusion carefully maintained by the ego. We believe we are stronger when we are autonomous, but aren’t we merely feeding a subtle isolation? A Course in Miracles reminds us that independence is only a mirage and that true freedom lies in recognizing our interdependence with everything that is.
Independence and Interdependence
Independence: A Strategy of the Ego
From childhood, we are taught that growing up means becoming autonomous. Being able to do things alone is seen as a source of pride, a step toward maturity. But this pursuit of autonomy is based on an underlying belief that is rarely questioned: the idea that we are separate and must prove our worth individually.
“You do not realize that what you did to free yourself from God has actually enslaved you to the world.” (ACIM)
The ego makes us believe that independence will make us stronger, freer, and safer. Yet, this independence often hides a deeper fear: the fear of abandonment, rejection, or even worse… the fear of completely surrendering to Love.
We seek absolute control, thinking that it will protect us from suffering. But what we call freedom is sometimes just a retreat, a subtle way to shield ourselves from the unknown and avoid the dissolution of the “self” into something greater.
Ironically, in striving to be completely independent, we deprive ourselves of the only true strength that exists: oneness.
The Illusion of Choice and Freedom
We believe that freedom comes from our ability to choose. In this world, we value autonomous decisions: choosing our career, our partner, our way of life… But are these choices truly a sign of freedom?
“The choices of the world are but this—selection between illusions. All choices in the world take form, for they are made within a world of form. Yet none of them has any meaning.” (ACIM)
We have the illusion of free will, but in reality, we are only choosing between different versions of the same dream. No matter how many times we change jobs, move to a new country, or enter new relationships—if our mindset remains the same, we are merely rearranging the scenery without ever questioning the origin of the dream itself.
It’s like rearranging the furniture in a crumbling house, hoping it will make it new. No matter how many options we explore, as long as we seek freedom within the world of separation, we are looking for it where it does not exist.
“Free will is not freedom. To be free is merely to be as God created you, and to accept nothing else as true.” (ACIM)
True freedom is not found in the multiplication of choices, but in letting go of the illusion of choice itself. It is not about adding more options but recognizing that, at the core, there is only one decision to make: to remember Love or to keep running from it.
The Rejection of Love Disguised as Independence
We often fear Love more than we fear loneliness. Real Love leaves no room for half-measures; it does not allow for an escape route “just in case.”
“You believe that if you yielded completely to Love, you would be taken from yourself. Yet Love can only take away what is not real.”(ACIM)
This is why we cling to an illusion of independence. We want to be free, but on our own terms. We want to love, but without losing control.
In truth, we do not reject Love because it is difficult to find, but because it is too absolute. It demands total surrender, a dissolution of the ego, which we spend our lives trying to avoid.
We think we are choosing independence, but in reality, we are choosing separation.
Interdependence: A New Vision of Freedom
If absolute independence is an illusion, isn’t total dependence also an illusion? A Course in Miracles invites us to move beyond these extremes and recognize another reality: conscious interdependence.
Unlike emotional dependence, which is based on lack and expectation, conscious interdependence is based on:
• Recognizing that we are never truly separate, even though we appear to be distinct individuals.
• Understanding that every relationship is an opportunity for healing and forgiveness.
• A connection with others that is not based on need, but on the natural extension of Love.
“Healthy relationships are not based on need but on the extension of the Love that is already present.” (ACIM)
In this vision, we no longer seek to prove our worth through performance or individual success. We no longer attempt to be self-sufficient but accept that we are already whole in our connection with all that is.
It’s like the ocean: every drop of water seems distinct, yet it is part of an indivisible Whole.
The Return to God: Accepting Oneness Instead of Struggle
We have spent our lives believing that we must fight for our freedom. That we must prove we can manage on our own. But have we ever considered that we never actually needed to be independent?
“What you are has been given to you. Your only decision is whether to experience it or not.” (ACIM)
True freedom is not about managing everything alone, nor about multiplying illusory choices. It lies in releasing the need for control and recognizing that we are already safe, already loved, already whole.
We are not here to prove our autonomy, but to remember that we never left God.
So instead of trying to be free from everything, what if we learned to be free in everything? Not by cutting ourselves off from the world, but by remembering that we never left it.
And what if our greatest fear was not dependence, but being totally free in God?
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